why i want to quit MA2101

i'm considering dropping MA2101.

reasons for dropping:
- i suck at the topic. seriously. from the beginning of the semester till now i have never fully understood a single lecture.
- module with the highest stress level.
- says prof lian, "If you can't spend at least 10hours a week, drop it." i can't spend 10 hours a week on it.
- the lecturer and tutorial sucks.
- other modules warrant my attention more than this one.
- i'm the lone arts fac student fighting against the china people. what chance will i have?
- an F on my transcript doesn't look very nice.

reasons against dropping:
- don't want to abandon joseph by himself. won't be very nice of me.
- says ashley from juice, "You want to challenge yourself and see if you can overcome. If you quit, you'll always wonder if you could have done it if only you stuck with it."
- a W on my transcript doesn't look very nice either.
- i'm going to be behind on my major modules.

so. which way to go?



mood: confused
listening to: whenever you remember - carrie underwood

very quick one

been real busy this weekend. so much happened but no time to talk.

ah bor and family came down from sabah. mai mai came up from melbourne. popo and gang came down from kulai. so, saturday, full house practically all day. jack n syn-syn stayed over friday night and saturday morn mum made us bring them out. went to watch POTC at cineleisure. $9.50 wasted. the quality of the movie was so bad there. anyway, then, brought them shopping with the rest of the family at parkway. THEN, in the evening, big family dinner at my place. woah. never been so re nao since CNY. the food was ok. not the best but edible.

had to cancel the choir practice that night cos jess msged me to say that there were only like, 2 people planning to attend. the rest of them, exams, assignments etc etc. so, cancelled and poor tian could not be reached so i think she didn't know we cancelled practice.

rushing out all my tutorials. all my own darn fault lah. *repeat after me* NEVER AGAIN SHALL I LEAVE TUTORIALS TO SUNDAY AFTERNOON. rushed out the MA2101. starting to have regrets about taking that one. i'm just working blind. have absolutely no idea what i'm supposed to be doing. i couldn't do a single proving question cos i don't know how to even start. which is also my fault, i should have paid more attention in MA1101 cos those questions look familiar. anyway, then went on to MA1102. that was marginally better. at least i don't feel as much pressure to do well. then the EL2101 which went quite well. GEK1500, absolutely no pressure at all. just read the textbook and hope that tmr's class is like a lecture.

happy note: CLAY AIKEN'S CD IS HAVING A WORLDWIDE RELEASE ON SEPTEMBER 18 AND SINGAPORE IS RECEIVING IT A FULL DAY AHEAD OF THE US!!!!!!!!!! aaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! it's so true. and for once, the rest of the world are envious of singapore claymates. muahahahaha! gonna look out for pre-orders. such a momentous thing, i wanna be part of it. be a part of all the fun. :D :D gonna go and scout out the cd shops around clementi. ok, i'm rambling. time to move on.

in remembrance of LC. click HERE (Pt1) and HERE(Pt2)




mood: hyper
listening to: flying without wings - ruben studdard

i found this beautiful song to share...

Mark Harris - Find Your Wings
From the album The Line Between The Two

It's only for a moment you are mine to hold
The plans that heaven has for you
Will all too soon unfold

So many different prayers I'll pray
For all that you might do
But most of all I'll want to know
You're walking in the truth

And If I never told you
I want you to know
As I watch you grow

Chorus:I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

May passion be the wind
That leads you through your days
And may conviction keep you strong
Guide you on your way
May there be many moments
That make your life so sweet
Oh, but more than memories

(Chorus)

It's not living if you don't reach for the sky
I'll have tears as you take off
But I'll cheer as you fly

(Chorus)

cruel crazy beautiful world

been really busy with the nus choir auditions. wed, thurs and fri were the auditions. i decided to skip friday night cos i couldn't take it anymore. it's times like this when i admire people like joseph and paulus for their boundless energy and friendliness. my stock of friendliness kinda ran out on wed night. anyway, had some interesting characters come for audition. memoriable ones was that poor girl that fell asleep waiting for her turn, that totally pompous and hao lian shanghai tenor guy, that boy-boy guy that started playing with a yo-yo. lol. ask me if you wanna know more cos i don't want them to find out if i bad mouth them (esp the china guy). the first day was really chaotic. i forgot to number the first few audition sheets so the first 12 people were totally messed up and had to rely on memory to determine who came first. the system was a bit sucky cos we had auditions downstairs while the holding area was the lobby upstairs. apparently a few people got lost looking for the auditions. 45 people on the first day. second day was marginally better, we knew what to expect. except that for some reason, harmonica ensemble was using our practice rooms. so, we had the auditions proper in the dance studio (downstairs again) and then the interviews in the conference area just off the lobby. so that was slightly messy especially at the end when they decided to speed things up a bit by doing the interviews first before the auditions (vice versa before). almost 50 people the second night. wind ensemble had their welcome tea/dinner, and they had food left over so choir ate it up. nice food btw. they got good value for their money. didn't go for the 3rd day auditions so can't comment too much. heard there was 60 people. wow. a bit paiseh part, on day2, this guy ferdinand came to me and said that he'll be coming tmr but late. and i told him, don't worry, just come down, and gave him my number to tell me if he changed his mind. i completely forgot that i was planning to not go for day3. so, anyway, fri night, he called me and informed me that he was on his way and bringing a friend along. omg. so embarrassing sia. i feel like i kinda let him down. kinda like, you assured me that the thing is still on and put yourself as point of contact, and yet you don't show up?! i think he got into choir anyway so i'll apologise if i run into him tmr. about 75 people got in. joy, harris and melissa(i think) got in. yay!

anyway, as part of our recruitment, we had booths all over the school. my shift on wed at the engine fac was really interesting. erm...we didn't exactly do anything as proactive as we had been on the first day. ;D but it was interesting nevertheless. at the booth next to us, there was this gimmick thing to fold paper cranes. it's from the nus breakers, 'training' to break a record of largest number of paper cranes folded (this coming tuesday). so anyway, there was this guy that was carrying a loudspeaker and urging people to fold paper cranes, cos apparently they were using charity, for every paper crane folded, song he will donate a bowl of rice to the red cross. so the guy was like, "my brothers and sisters of nus! come and do a good deed today! don't turn your backs on these needy people!" he went on and on and on and on practically non stop for 2 hours. oh. my. god. i have NEVER seen something like that before. but later on, he got a bit overboard when he said, "if you understand what i'm saying, then i don't understand why you are walking away from me." i'll remember that guy forever i tell you. he should be a politician. or the guy that gives political rally speeches. my partner at the booth was saying that he's probably a political science major. haha! and yes, i did my bit for charity and folded his darn paper cranes.

outside of school note. something interesting i did over the weekend...for all you who don't know (which is probably everybody), one of the clay fan boards that i frequent is the WMS board. and they've got a very interesting concept there about clay and clones. the concept is that there are clones of clay running around doing appearances for him, which explains why he looks slightly different in every appearance. so anyway, this part of the board generally deals with fiction and story writing. and well...i wrote something over the holidays. haha. and i posted it up this weekend. feels proud. first time i did something like that. so, click HERE if you wanna see it. if you don't, it's perfectly ok. it's a crazy thing i'm doing anyway. welcome to the insanity, as they say.

i realised that i never really addressed the issue of the SEP. well, i was rejected. and yes, i am very very disappointed. i wrote before that maybe it's because of money issues. probably that's why. i mean, i meet the minimum grade criteria. ok, i scrape through. they want a CAP of 3 and i got 3.2. i guess this is one thing that i can't really just ignore. i mean, it affects me in a way that i didn't expect it to. i guess i was hoping way too much that i would get it, and when i didn't... my friend got in. she's going to UNC-CH. that's the school that i was secretly really really hoping to get into. i didn't put it as first choice cos US is a bit expensive for me. we both put that as our 3rd choice. she got it. i didn't. and i'm pretty sad about it. i saw her entry some time back on how she's finally gotten through the paperwork and she's getting ready to go. i feel like crying when i think about it. i tell myself that it's stupid thing to cry over. it's just SEP. i can always try again next time. but i don't know. i'm doing a 3 year course. yr3 sem1 will be my last chance. i don't want to go overseas as a post-grad student. i wanna go now, and i wanna go with friends that i'm close to. i know it sounds whiny. i don't want to spend the next semester hoping and hoping, then applying and hoping again, only to be rejected a second time.

i'm never gonna get round to that scolding i owe them. today was a milestone in Jubilate history. (i still haven't gotten used to the new name yet) today was LC's second anniversary. it was also the last day of LC. at the gathering just now, it was announced that LC would be closing. i know dawn told me the news ages ago. and i still haven't figured out what this would mean for choir. people will be leaving definitely. things are gonna get very disrupted. so sorry to tian that she had to join at such a time. for me, i want to continue the choir. i think, if only for the sake of functionality, the choir still has to go on. but i don't know what to do, where to go from here. LC was an important factor in the existence of the choir. just tonight, 5 members have already declared that they're leaving. 5 outgoing to 1 incoming is just not enough to sustain ourselves. at least, if the church gets pulled down and we forced to scatter, it's a good excuse for us to suddenly drop numbers. in a way, it feels a bit paiseh. just today, khoo did promotion for our choir. he says he wants to build the choir until it becomes 50 strong. imagine what it'll be like when the very next week the numbers drop to a single digit number. i don't know. it's simple for me, i'm in it for the music. but others...how can i motivate them enough to stay? i don't have a personality like dawn. i'm not outgoing like nick. it's one thing to say that choir will continue and that i will not let the choir collapse under my leadership, and quite another thing to actually do it.



mood: tired, confused
listening to: silence

i owe my choir a good scolding, but...

...not today.

today was not bad. the mass went well, after the initial kan cheong attacks. and kan cheong attacks because of what happened that warrants the scoldings. i asked them all to come down at 7pm. at 7pm, the only people there were tian, randall, andrew and andrea. all the way until 7,30 less than half of the choir was there. we had not warmed up, not practiced, nothing. and we're going to do a relatively important mass. st ant's began quite scarily. fr paul came in and did not go to the altar seat through 2 verses of "shine jesus shine". so panicking me decided to just end the song and i was right! as i ended the song, he moved up to the stand. and the rest went quite well. happy that i got "alleluia" right! yay! my first time doing that version! i absolutely loved "ave maria" and "praise her with a flower". could hear the congregation singing, and really got into the feel of the song. i think it was probably my best ever at the organ. :D especially the "flower" song. it was supposed to be recessional, but the people were not moving. :O so, we sang the entire song through and people were blasting so much all the way to the end. touched. it's times like these that it feels worth all the stress.

lectures went quite well also. spent most of the last 2 days in the foreign lands of science fac and engine fac. MA2101 on monday was not bad. i kinda like the lecturer. prof lian. he's the really no-nonsense type. the type that really gave me the impression that he was going to yell at the latecomers. there was this thing he said, "if you don't understand the lecture, go back and study your notes. if you still don't understand, come and find me. if you're scared to find me, then you should drop the course." woah. somehow i appreciate such frankness.

MA1102R was ok. very cheena lecturer. Wang Fei is his name. don't know his title. the fancy computer stuff that he tried to use, ie, the stylus, repeatedly refused to work for him. and the mic also was so soft no matter what he tried to do. but calculus seems easy at this point. he says it's more computational rather than analytical. so thank god for that. i've got enough of analysis with linear algebra already. saw cass in the class, but i don't think she saw me.

GEK1500. one of those that's going to be like genes and soc, i can sense it. the lecturer, dr soh, is the most cheena one i've got thus far. the type that can't pronounce "R" but does it as an "L". "zero" became "jilo". "clap" became "crap". omg! there was a rep from the textbook publisher there to talk to us, and after he was done, we clapped for him and dr soh said, "later, let's see if there's any 'crapping' for me also." *jaw drops* oh.my.freaking.god.

and you know how i used to say that arts fac is run down? i changed my mind. science fac is the most run down place of all. LT26 still uses those fold up wooden chairs for lectures. LT21 is so ulu and feels SO old. there's construction work all over the place. the only things that look new there are the computers and projector screens. everything else...imagine years and years ago style, with aircon. LT25 of 2 sems ago deceived me. none of the arts lecture theatres are like that lor.

anyway, it's nice. tmr going back to my old stamping ground, the arts fac. i miss it already. oh and talking about missing, i miss my MA1101R lecturer, mr toh. don't know why. i think i'm inadvertly comparing my other maths lecturers with him. lol. he should be proud. he did a relatively good job in lecturing back then.

oh, and btw, westlife is coming to singapore in sept (i think it's sept). dilemma whether to go or not to go. i used to really like westlife. but...it's the cost. and also, no one to go with me. so, anyone who knows me and wants to go to a westlife concert with me, let me know!

alrighty. all for now. need to get down to that article for zac that i got no motivation to do. :p



mood: content
listening to: without you - clay aiken; kimberley locke

and it begins again

tomorrow, the new semester starts. have to say, it's mixed feelings for me. on the one hand, it's the end of boredom and slacking. on the other hand, it's the end of boredom and slacking. don't know what's going to happen this new year. i'm a year 2 now. one year closer off the edge of all that's familiar. *shudder* back to the crazy rat race of school. back to jostling with the crowd in the bus, corridors, canteen...back to the insane deadlines and assignments. 5 day week this time. :p

anyway, the last half of the week was fine. thursday lost my voice cos of eating mum's chilli tuna that was super super hot (to me). thursday was the choir welcome tea. me, felicia and winnie went to jun's house to prepare sandwiches. we prepared 4 huge loaves of bread (cheese, tuna, egg mayo) plus 3 cakes and 2 big packets of potato chips. and it still wasn't enough for the freshmen. everything was gone in minutes. there was so many of them. in a way, it's a good thing. but who knows who's gonna stay and who was just eyeing for a free meal? lol.

friday was fun. went to sumi's house for a little get together with duan hui and toh ying. watched "WD" (which i think duan hui is a bit sensitive about telling the title out, so i won't) and a bit of "Munich". WD was cute. not rolling in the aisles kind of funny, but it was enjoyable. those girls are SO innocent! omg! can you believe that once upon a time, we were all just as innocent? "Munich" was heavy. a bit hard to get what was going on. but could tell it was one of those that is a really really good show. so, hopefully can watch it again someday. nino was going totally crazy. think maybe first time in a long time that he's got so much company in the house. he was slobbering all over me. first time a dog licked me on the face. he was biting my shirt also, don't know why. lucky it didn't tear or anything. sumi would probably whack him if he did that. wish i had a dog.

saturday. only thing to note was the choir practice. we've got a new member. Tian (pronounced like 'sweet'). bit hard to get used to her name. she seems a nice girl. hard to believe she's older than me. anyway, i was supposed to meet daryl at 7 to practice the organ. he didn't show up till 7.30. practice proper was supposed to start at 7.30. waited until 8 and there was still only me, andrew, tian, daryl, verena, nick and zac. how pathetic could that be? later on randall and aloy came in. and that was choir.

sunday. there was 2 infant baptisms after mass. fr khoo was late for it. me was hanging around waiting for the baptisms to finish and i can use the organ, so got shanghaied into playing for the baptism. lucky kids to get an organist for their baptism ceremony. in the evening, mum decided to have a get together for rosary. so the whole family, including ah-ku's side and janice's family came. was chaotic. janice could not sit still and she was distracting linus who was probably just looking for a reason to misbehave anyway. well, let's say i've attended more reverent rosary sessions.

this weekend, i've discovered the joys of online games. lol. downloaded free trial games of "mystic inn" and "magic match" and was playing it. haha! so fun. but sadly, can only use once or for an hour. i wish can play it till the end. but...people with no money to spend use free trials.
alrighty. that's all. i'll see ya when i see ya.




mood: content
listening to: this is the night - clay aiken

i've got my modules!!

EL2101 - structure of sentences and meaning
EL2151 - Social variation in English
MA1102R - Calculus
MA2101 - Linear Algebra II
GEK1500 - Inside your Personal computer



mood: happy!
listening to: nothing

wanna share this song

He Will Carry Me
by Mark Schultz
album: Stories & Songs (2003)

I call, You hear me
I've lost it all
And it's more than I can bear
I feel so empty
You're strong, I'm weary
I'm holding on
But I feel like giving in
But still You're with me

[chorus]
And even though I'm walking
Through the valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I've been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will ever need
He will carry me

I know I'm broken
But You alone
Can mend this heart of mine
You're always with me

[chorus]
And even though I'm walking
Through the valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I've been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will ever need
He will carry me
He will carry me

And even though I feel so lonely
Like I have never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said You'd see me through the storm

[chorus]
And even though I'm walking
Through the valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I've been wounded in my battle
He is all the strength that I will ever need
He will carry me
He will carry me
He will carry me

mid week report! FIC/Choir workshop/National day

yay! halfway through this crazy week. it's been great. :D

monday. the FIC. we had 2 slots to sing for, the morning and the afternoon session. we were sitting at the ucc lobby, the cafe wasn't open so we could sit at the tables without the annoying waiter making us buy food. there was this orientation group of freshmen, standing in a circle, doing goodness knows what tribal dance in a corner. lol. the security guard didn't let us into backstage cos we didn't have security passes because apparently they ran out of security passes. wtf! so, the guard had to call up his supervisor to check if it was ok for us to just go in based on the namelist. so, that was cleared. the choir dressing room was well, not enough for all of us. there were lots of lockers and all, but not enough space at the mirrors and dressing table to match the number of lockers. but, we made do lah.

the first performance was interesting. we got ready and followed the usher to the backstage holding area. then, we could hear the announcements, it's time for choir to go in and sing. BUT, we found out that we were at the wrong door. we were supposed to be one floor down. so, we all rushed down only to find...that the door was locked. the panicking usher was desperately calling anyone he thought would have the key, reporting that we're locked out of the venue. lol. the security guard had to come along and open the door. so we finally got out and sang. wasn't too good for me. i think my voice was still asleep.

between the performances, we were backstage learning how to sing "sound of silence". lucky i brought my pitchpipe along cos we had to do sectionals and had no way of finding out the note. the song is cool. but i disagree with how wikipedia described it. i mean, ok, there's no disagreeing with the composer, but i think the song doesn't really match the message. wikipedia tells me that the song was written to portray the emotions of the americans after the assassination of president kennedy. i see it as an ode against materialism and consumerism. the line: "and the people bowed and prayed to the neon god they made." bro says that the song reminds him of the "sandman" comics we read a while back. i agree.

the second performance wasn't as interesting as the first. the interesting parts were what happened backstage. the guys were all getting hyper and bored. so they were all acting out backstage. kurien especially. which is not a surprise. there are people like him and yan ting that can just 'entertain' everyone by just existing. it's just them. anyway, he was hypering as usual and he suddenly made this really really really loud pop sound (think the donkey in shrek 2). it was so loud it reverberated all round backstage. and felicia asked him to do it again, which he very gladly obliged. then a couple of minutes later, he got bored and went out into the corridor and did it again, which was just as loud if not louder, since the corridor was nice and empty and echoey.

anyway, then, after the FIC, i rushed over to the geog department to check if we can use the earth lab. and you know what the fucker told me? she says, oh, the HOD says that ONLY geog students can book and use the lab. asked me which dept i belong to, i tell her EL. she says, why don't you go over and ask them for their facilities? *jaw drops* and then she suggests i go over to the dean's office and ask them for help. wah lau!! would it kill them to tell me 'no' straight out when i emailed them instead of making me believe that there was a chance to use the lab by saying they'll contact me? and why the hell did they put on their website that they have modified their lab so that seminars and classes can be held there, only to tell ppl who want to use the place that only their own students can use the lab??! i'm never gonna take geography modules in my nus life. pissed off sia!

and then, rushed over to the dean's office at AS7. it was 5.45pm. i rushed up there and the bloody idiot receptionist tells me that, oh, all facilities are fully booked at this time of year, you should have booked at least one month in advance, and even if there is a room, we do not release the rooms to students. so, i asked, can i book through cfa in that case? and she was like, no, cfa liases with us ONLY for rehersal room and LT13, other facilities, cfa has no say over. and besides, it's almost 6 already. fuck. you. angry sia.

so, that was monday.

tuesday. early morning went to the university hall to take part in flag raising ceremony. fun. haven't attended flag raising in 2 years. the nussu president led the pledge. seems weird to me. it was a 'repeat after me' exercise. but it was fun. then we joined in the reception. which wasn't too bad. and we get paid for less than 5 minutes of performance. cool!

after the flag raising, rushed back to cfa to prepare for the workshop. poor vi had to rush out all the photocopying of the programme booklets and fold and staple them all. it was like a factory conveyor belt system. me had to open the cabin and drag out the 2 keyboards and stand and stuff. thank god for jun. if i had to take the bus with those things...

anyway, got lost at the arts fac. discovered that the rehersal room is not what i expected. it wasn't the one near LT11. it was the little room at the corner, the one i almost was going to book, AS3-0101. oh. my. god. that room must have been unused in a century or something. the place was dusty, and stank. only one aircon was working. the other aircon made very scary funny sounds when we turned it on. so made do with one and cranked it down to the lowest temperature. then, when me and adyll tried to set up the keyboard at the corner, it didn't work. so adyll got paulus to help him drag the electric piano from one corner of the room to the other. and it didn't work either. that's when we realised that it was the power socket that wasn't working.

the workshop itself was interesting. actually, i didn't really like the sectionals much. alto sectionals, angila ONLY did 'sound of silence'. then started to play some kind of relay game, which i suppose is supposed to help, but didn't in that little space of time. i think the problem is that she's used to the primary school choir and treated the rest of us like primary school also. i heard that the sop sectional went ok except that apparently the teacher was a bit off in the timing. no feedback from the baritones so i think it went ok, except that they were forced to sing outside the LT. i am SO sorry about that.

the combined was ok. wei wei so cute, he couldn't see the pianist, and the pianist couldn't see him, and i think couldn't hear him either. so he kept, miss chua please play faster, and there wasn't exactly any change. she ended up doing a half squat while playing so that she could see over the choir's heads. 'ave verum' was fine. 'sound of silence'...well, let's say that i think even i could conduct it better.

the mini concert. concorde primary was so cute. *g* need i say more? compassvale...i like their first song. but i found that their singing was very singaporean. especially the guys. broadrick was nice. 'hakuna matata' was cute, especially the front segment doing the forest sounds. 'when you believe/ashira' was great too! first time hearing that arrangement in real life. church choir was ok i think. to me, it was soft. but other people said it's ok. the 2 lalas liked it, esp the sops. i think for our first time performance in such a setting, it went well.

busy after the workshop. a certain secondary school made a ginormous mess of the rehersal/holding room. and someone left a pair of shoes in the room also. lol. going to scold that weiwei on thursday. it's his choir. reversed the process of bringing all the moveable equipment back to cfa. again, huge thanks to jun.

then, rushed back to church for st ants. made it there at 8.15. daryl appeared seconds after i did. :D army let them out for national day. so it was ok. khoo was made a lame joke in homily that i still don't get what it has to do with the gospel other than the walking on water part. geez. he should listen to himself sometimes.

and today. Singapore's 41st National Day! yay! a holiday! lol. the last year it will be held at the national stadium before it gets torn down and rebuilt. watched the parade on tv. no. no.no. it was not all that great. why? because of little details that somehow people didn't realise were annoying. for instance, in the middle of one of the sing-alongs, the sound suddenly got cut. and didn't come back on for a while. the choir and the solo singers didn't blend, so songs like 'semoga bahagia' sounded so bad, when actually, the choir was singing the melody and the soloist was doing harmony. you could only hear the soloist. and, during the celebrations proper, there was darn annoying commentary in the background. it blocked out the actual sound of the performances. and you know what was the worse? the guy talking had the worse singaporean accent you could ever imagine. omg. please. i know you want to explain the significance of the formations and this and that, but PLEASE, can it and save it for another time. on the actual day and actual time, people like me may want to watch the performances, undistrupted by unnecessary commentary. other than that, it was great. :D

then, i watched singapore idol after that. for the first time, i watched it from beginning to the end. theme was, 'home, family, friends'. what kinda shitty theme is that? if i was a judge, here's my comments:

rahimah (confessions of a broken heart): are you a fan of avril lavigne? don't try and act like her cos at least, she acts angst well enough. you are just acting. badly. there was nothing in the performance that was good.
jasmine (don't forget to remember me): my first thought was, you better not screw this up. and you didn't. it wasn't bad. very nice that you went with the natural look. safe performance, but could do a lot more.
nurul (somewhere over the rainbow): very good, considering that the song is difficult and that it's been sung ad nauseum. nice clean performance.
joakim (i'll be there for you): are you high on something? you sing like karaoke king. you're having fun out there, BUT too much fun to the point that you aren't paying attention to the song anymore. and can you please stop acting like a hyperactive bunny?
mathilda (the living years): you remind me of kimberley locke. very good singing voice, but not the image. you'll be a great radio performer.
hady (you've got a friend): you remind me of a lounge singer. but good voice and stage presence.
jonathan (dance with my father): another karaoke king, but better than joakim.
paul (picture of you): what da hell are you singing?! you were sharp from the very first note!! and fluctuated between sharp and flat for the entire song, never hitting the right key except for one line. *jaw drops* worse in the competition.

at this point, i think that only hady has it to go far in the competition. who should be eliminated this time, well, it's a tie between paul and rahimah. and i think paul should go. he committed a big no-no in singing.



mood: happy/giggly
listening to: do you hear the people sing - les miserables

midway through the week!

mid week report. things are going ok. today was great! more next time. :D



mood: tired

listening to: someday we'll know - new radicals

one down. one more week to go.

today was fr paul's 45th sacerdotal anniversay. ie his 45th year as a priest. and he celebrated that at st stephen's! it was a blast. here's what happened: (thanks to dawn for the pics)

met at 8.45 to start warmups. very good, no one was that late. can't wait for the day when the new building is done and we can have our own choir room instead of having to display all the background work to the entire congregation. but it went well. they haven't forgotten their parts, most of it.

finished warmups by 9.45, right on schedule. by then, the church was beginning to fill up and woah! it WAS full. practically full house. never seen it that crowded in a long long time, and especially not during 10am mass. the only times it gets close is during christmas and easter. guess what? BG George Yeo was present and he sat RIGHT NEXT TO THE CHOIR. cue major panic attack.

mass itself went well. i screwed up the intro for lamb of god, but hopefully the congregation thought it was supposed to be like that. lol. it was so cool to hear the whole congregation singing along with the choir. could really hear them loud and clear. no need for me to have to lip read this time. :D

after mass, went downstairs for reception and makan. cake for fr paul and photos all round. there you go!

mood: tired
listening to: breathless - corrs

to all my dear friends...

thanks for the sympathy.

i feel better now. it was a good day. circumstances were nice to me today. thank god.



mood: tired
listening to: the dream within - lara fabian

somedays you just wake up and the world totally sucks

today's just one of those days. feel sad.

last night i finally got the reply from IRO. no. i'm not going for sep. it's all about money i tell you. today, yesterday, tomorrow, always and forever, it'll always be those with money that will go places. and those without money, will never get far. i'm disappointed. and i don't know if i will reapply again next sem. is it worth the trouble? to start anticipating only to be turned down again.

school stuff. i can't access the facility booking system on the OED site. it always gets stuck halfway loading. and it's not just on my computer. i got bro to try it on his comp, didn't work either. it's so frustrating. and i don't know how to contact the geog dept directly either. i hate myself for being so shy. and i'm supposed to prepare a detailed floor map for the schools. betcha that won't get done till the last minute. this should be left to someone living in the hall. i can't remember all the details and it's too far to go down just to see it.

and next week's gonna be total hell. not next week. starting now it's gonna be hell. the extra practice today, the fellowship in the evening, fr paul's stuff tmr, and i'm skipping my FIC rehersal tomorrow. monday's FIC for the whole freaking day. tuesday's national anthem and workshop. thursday's welcome tea. next week's recruitment booths and auditions and lessons starting. and assumption mass next tuesday. someone kill me now, please.

and my tag board is not working again. this time, it's not just hanging, it's not displaying messages. i know cos i tried it twice. and the message didn't appear. is that why it's always stuck at sumi's message? or is it that no one's come to see me? did something happen to the code while i was making the skin? it works for my phenomenaldreamscape blog but not for the trueillusion one. why??!

ya anyway, i know i'm paranoid, but i got the feeling that tuesday is going to be a disaster. whatever the case, this is going to be the first and last time i take my choir outside the church for anything like this. there's no point. they are not engaging in it. so it's no point. they'll not learn anything. right now, let's just get through the torture and be done with it.

i hate my life. i'm not coping with it. sigh.



mood: sad
listening to: gaudete - libera boys choir

would'ja look at this!!!

that is one hot fella! *thud* http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y27/mezzogal/claynewimage.jpg
the url will give a better resolution than this one. i had to resize it here.

clay aiken and his new look. woah. i don't recognise him anymore. he looks like a male model now. *jaw drops to the floor*



mood: annoyed (at the computer systems)
listening to: some kid yelling outside

i wish...

...that my life wasn't such a sucky fucking mess. that i have more control over my own life. that i don't freak out over the smallest issues.

MA1102R is screwed up. EL3203 is screwed up. cors sucks. logistics is screwed up. sep has not replied me. i hate nus (in case you didn't know by now)

meeting with khoo tonight. meeting with nus choir on friday. meeting with kwei next saturday. meeting with my brochure and souvenior committee TBD. i hate meetings btw. in fact, i kinda hate anything that forces me to leave anonymity.

sometimes i wonder if i should have taken on the post at church/school. maybe it's too much for someone like me. maybe i should be like sumi. don't involve myself in anything at all. go to school, work the system then get out.

couldn't sleep so got up at 1am to nwc "sound of silence". it's one of those songs that individually sound sucky but together is really cool. i'm going to die doing nwcs this sem. it took me half an hour for that one song.

i'm not surviving in this world.

"help me, have mercy on me, set my soul free and let the bell in my heart ring, This is my cry, this is my plea. i need an angel, send me an angel down" - Ruben Studdard 'I need an Angel'.

happy thought: MA2101 has appeared on ivle. i won't be surprised if i'm the only arts fac person in the class. joseph is in my class. thank god for the little favours. we'll stop/speed up each other going mad.




mood: frustrated
listening to: the water is wide - jane siberry

check this out!

the PROPHECY OF THE POPES
we may be living in the last days.
interesting read, even if you're not into conspiracy theories about the end of the world.

and i just realised, this is my 3rd post in a single day. geez. seems like a long time ago that i was just typing out my first one. *jaw drops*



mood: okay
listening to: endless night - jason raize

me and my photo workshop

i was playing with my new software today. photo workshop by broderbund. i used it to create my blogskin layout also. :D anyway, while playing, i found proof that i have lost/losing my mind.



mood: hyper
listening to: neighbour talking

lagging *again*

well, before i start on the lagging bit. not going to talk too much today i think.

sunday we had our canteen duty at church. that was fun. it was so nice to see everyone actually waking up to report at church at 6.30am. the thing was quite successful i think. me was a manual drier and my biggest problem was with there being no dry cloths after a while. the cloths got so wet that marion had to be a human wringer, wringing the cloths as dry as humanly possible. then she decided to try and steam them dry over the stoves. which was ok, but not 100% dry.

monday was matric fair at school. took the afternoon shift with jun, aaron and joseph. it was ok. there were significant freshies than last year. OR cos i was sick last year and the freshies last year seemed multiplied. duan hui commented that her seniors said there were less people this year. which is weird, considering yesterday was the fass matriculation and arts is practically the largest faculty. saw some of the mj junoirs.

finally got "sound of silence" from weiwei. or rather, from johni. it looks interesting. it's got the phrase "hello darkness my old friend". never knew it came from there. i always thought it was something stephen king thought up in 'dreamcatcher'. anyway, learnt "ave verum". it actually sounds really nice. :D

clay's ATDW has a confirmed september 19 date. yay! time to start saving money.

su hui has the results of her sep back. she's going UNC-CH. i, on the other hand, have not received any news. so, got this feeling that i'm not gonna go anywhere. wish can go UNC with her lah, but...sigh.

and the stupid cors screwed up again. it refused to let me bid for one of my major modules, calculus. says that it's not available for bidding in this round. what da hell?! i emailed cors, but i think after so much disappointment with the system, i can't really be bothered today. :p

and i'm lagging. first, i have to book a room for choir audition. haven't done that. and the room for sectionals during the workshop. not done that either (have to be done quickly). and fr paul's 45th, have to learn the psalm (utmost importance). have to plan the hymns for the next half of the year. why am i so lagging these days?????!



mood: sian
listening to: flying intro - david copperfield